Sunday, 4 April 2010

Everything's Spam

Conversation in the Unicorn Meat Marketing Department's kitchenette between Bob, Marketing Manager and Jim, PR Director.

"Do you think we could create a market for this stuff? Every little girl dreams of unicorns and fairies."

"Yeah Bob, dreaming is one thing, having the magical creature spread on two slices of Wonder Bread for lunch is another."

"We're talking about bottling magic. Magic! Don't you see the fucking sparkles shining in the meat? The next best thing to riding a unicorn is having a bit of magic inside you, everyday. Unicorn Meat on toast for breakfast, mixed with macaroni and cheese for lunch, pot roast for dinner - this could become the next Heinz ketchup, even Marlboro."

"Right, we're talking about a breed of deformed Mexican donkeys with a stump growing out of their heads, which is a far cry from unicorns."

"Who's going to know? We shroud this thing in secrecy, which is easy to do, we wouldn't want unicorns to become endangered, or exploited. We create an entire digital fantasy world, where kids can move, name, talk to unicorns, sing unicorn duets, we can even copyright the unicorn sound - it'll be like My Little Pony on Ecstasy. We could eventually create a TV series, trading cards, unicorn pets on key chains - the possibilities are endless."

"Buddy, come on, we're asking kids to eat the unicorns they'll play with online."

"Haven't you heard of Farmville?"

"This sounds nuts, but you actually might be unto something big here."

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